Normality
Now that things are quiet again, Wilk and I spent the morning doing the chores we have neglected to do when his folks were here. It's amazing how much dust/dirt/hair etc we have accumulate over the last 8-9days even though i have been sweeping the floor almost daily when everyone is asleep (That's the only time when people/baby were not underfoot). It was so bad that by the end of the week, everytime Avery crawl on the floor, she was picking up dust balls on her clothing and needed to be dusted off each time we carried her.
The week went by quicker than i anticipated. I dont think i can make a good hostess.. at all. Perhaps i will do a better job if there was only 1 or 2 people visiting at a time. But with 3, i am just too caught up with the logistics (e.g. how to fit everyone plus baby into the car) and feeling claustrophobic with the additional people in the already small apartment. I am not by nature a very sociable person. I can deal with big crowds if i am just a passive 'participant' e.g. part of audience etc. But if i have to actively 'engage'... argh. Really... even weekly marketing in a crowded/noise market can send my stress level shooting up sky high because i have to managed the shopping list, 'force' my way through other shoppers and avoid kicking the shop attendants when they were shouting (cries akin to our 'lelong lelong'). The only way i cope is that i try to tune things/people out. Better yet, try to stand at the most 'isolated' corner of the whole situation. Wilkie thinks that it is funny... well, i don't. When he try to imitate their 'lelong-ing', i almost bit him.
Back to the last week...
It is actually wonderful that we have family visiting, especially for Avery but... still, i found it hard to cope with having more people than our little family in our little bit of space. Seems like the only bit of 'me' space is the chair infront of my laptop... and late at night when others are sleeping. Like i said.. if its only 1, i would have enjoyed the visit alot more. Well, even if its my own folks visiting, i also get into a similar sort of 'stress'... What more, with family, they also have a tendency to... try to 'improve' on what you are doing. Aside from being not very sociable, i also have a distinct independence streak in me (okie, self-centreness) that doesn't tolerate helpful suggestions (okie, interference) very well. Esp when the other parties start to take matters in their own hand. I am still sort of unsure about how i ought to feel... on one hand, i understand and am grateful for 'help', yet i cant help feeling like something is being encroached upon. All in all... aside feeling the claustrophobia, i am feeling a myriad of intense feelings come and go.
Hence it is with a sense of relief, tinge with apologies (for feeling the relief), that life has now gone back to my quiet piece of 'normality'. I think Wilk and Avery definitely enjoyed the visit. Especially Avery, with all the old folks doting on her and carrying her, she is feeling the 'loss' because suddenly she is all clingy and wanting to be carried now that we are back to just being us 3. Sigh... well, that's life. Have to take the good stuff with the bad i guess.
The week went by quicker than i anticipated. I dont think i can make a good hostess.. at all. Perhaps i will do a better job if there was only 1 or 2 people visiting at a time. But with 3, i am just too caught up with the logistics (e.g. how to fit everyone plus baby into the car) and feeling claustrophobic with the additional people in the already small apartment. I am not by nature a very sociable person. I can deal with big crowds if i am just a passive 'participant' e.g. part of audience etc. But if i have to actively 'engage'... argh. Really... even weekly marketing in a crowded/noise market can send my stress level shooting up sky high because i have to managed the shopping list, 'force' my way through other shoppers and avoid kicking the shop attendants when they were shouting (cries akin to our 'lelong lelong'). The only way i cope is that i try to tune things/people out. Better yet, try to stand at the most 'isolated' corner of the whole situation. Wilkie thinks that it is funny... well, i don't. When he try to imitate their 'lelong-ing', i almost bit him.
Back to the last week...
It is actually wonderful that we have family visiting, especially for Avery but... still, i found it hard to cope with having more people than our little family in our little bit of space. Seems like the only bit of 'me' space is the chair infront of my laptop... and late at night when others are sleeping. Like i said.. if its only 1, i would have enjoyed the visit alot more. Well, even if its my own folks visiting, i also get into a similar sort of 'stress'... What more, with family, they also have a tendency to... try to 'improve' on what you are doing. Aside from being not very sociable, i also have a distinct independence streak in me (okie, self-centreness) that doesn't tolerate helpful suggestions (okie, interference) very well. Esp when the other parties start to take matters in their own hand. I am still sort of unsure about how i ought to feel... on one hand, i understand and am grateful for 'help', yet i cant help feeling like something is being encroached upon. All in all... aside feeling the claustrophobia, i am feeling a myriad of intense feelings come and go.
Hence it is with a sense of relief, tinge with apologies (for feeling the relief), that life has now gone back to my quiet piece of 'normality'. I think Wilk and Avery definitely enjoyed the visit. Especially Avery, with all the old folks doting on her and carrying her, she is feeling the 'loss' because suddenly she is all clingy and wanting to be carried now that we are back to just being us 3. Sigh... well, that's life. Have to take the good stuff with the bad i guess.
2 comments:
i felt the same 'anti-socialness' when my hubby's parents and his sis was in my house for close to 6 weeks. i almost died. really.
i so much prefer the quietness when i can concentrate on baby's routine and my space.
think i am normal. :)
phew.. then i must be normal too. :D
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